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Known Cone Stances
A vaguely organised list of celebrities, companies, shows, famous people and other entities who have made their individual stance on cones clear.
It's difficult for the average guy to understand legal jargon, but I'm doing my best to keep fair use to a maximum. I think this counts as fair use under... parody or something? Yeah, let's go with parody.
People
Aled Jones
(image source: ITV)
Was a singing traffic cone on The Masked Singer. This man RICKROLLED everyone, did the Piña Colada song and a Take That song from my childhood - and nobody questioned it. Genius.
His on-show clues state he considers cones to be "part of the everyday urban landscape", and seems to understand that traffic cones are all about stability. As such, I conclude that he's quite fond of them!
David Morgan
(image source: Oxford Mail)
Oxfordshire man just over 80, owned over 500 cones as of 2007.
Has reportedly been caring for his cones since 1986. Acquires abandoned or poorly cared-for cones legally like the hero he is.
Appears to care for them perfectly fine! They have ample time outside, and are cared for significantly better than the average road cone.
If I ever get a cone, I'll be sure to ask for advice from this expert.
Wayne Brown
(image source: PMN)
Mayor of Auckland, NZ. Despises traffic cones.
On the surface, the man has a point - cones are being actively overused and left in places where they are not cared for correctly.
However, he leaves his intentions unclear to the public under the blanket statement "they need to go", placing all the blame on the cones. I'll be asking the local transport company what they do with them soon.
Games and Companies
Plants vs. Zombies - Electronic Arts (PopCap Studios)
(image source: ingame sprite rip?)
Used as a damage shield by the bad guys. Presumably reflects that using a cone as a shield is bad.
Unfortunately, you still need to hit the cone to knock it off..
Hitman series - IO Interactive
(image source: Youtube playthrough)
Cannot be injured, do not count as witnesses.
Depicted working as cones do. Guys overseeing construction site can be knocked out (or worse) if you deem conditions poor.
DELTARUNE - one Toby Fox
(image source: @GoGalactic, YouTube)
Gonna be honest, I have no idea. Apparently the dog face is a standin for the developers, and the cones are meta because you're not meant to go down there, and that's why they have the face, but there are others with no face, and none of them are helpful, and they bark if you interact with them, and-
I don't know..
Splatoon series - Nintendo
(image source: awaiting from friend)
Apparently here because of the generic city theme. They can be hit and they'll go flying, though they won't be marked.
But also, don't hit cones?
Counter Strike: Global Offensive
(image source: @TeamScythe, YouTube)
"Vertigo" map, which is a construction site. There's a tipped-over cone, but they're in a line.
I hear you can shoot these and have them go flying. Don't hit cones.
Among Us - Innersloth
(image source: personal gameplay)
Equipable hat named Traffic Jam. Comes in four colours, with a fifth unreleased in the code.
Whilst regular cones shouldn't be on your head, if your cone's base is naturally this short, I'd imagine it's the only solution.
Bonus points for several subspecies.
Shows
uhhhhhh